This will probably be my longest post ever, it will also be my last. The contents of my blogs will remain here till when the domain thekohs.net expires.

The New Year

I will probably be prepping for a trip up to Genting by the time this post is out, so here’s to wishing everyone a fantastic and prosperous 2009! 2008 has whizzed by in a flash, a bit too quickly for my comprehending to rationalize, but nonetheless it has been a steep learning curve. Somehow, I am glad to see the back of 2008, and cannot wait for 2009 to start.

Closure

My blog has evolved over the years from a chronicle of my daily movements, to an insight into my inner musings. A dose of happening events around the World, to the amusing jokes that tickle our funny bones. The reason why I started my blog was because I loved writing, penning my thoughts down, and also because I have a poor memory. I am not kidding about my poor memory, have you heard me recite a joke I heard? Probably not, because my puny brain lacks the ability to store that. Numbers are a whole new ball game though (Wonder why?) A recollection of my take on events, feelings at a certain point of time, all at a spot whereby I can share with the people that matter. Of course, the narcissism of showcasing my limited literary talents also played a part.

Suddenly, restrictions and all the extra baggage and turmoil that came along made me wonder if I should continue. I had plans to write a finale of some sort, but along the way I was somewhat prepped up by the extreme boost of traffic due to an early post about George Bush and the shoe throwing saga. I had never monetized my blog, but was certainly tempted to with the additional burst in traffic. For a moment in time, I thought I could have just kept the blog simply in pursuit of more traffic and monetary returns. However, that never did coincided with what my blog was about.

Perhaps one day I would get another wave of inspiration, and I would start writing again, probably elsewhere by then, but as of now I have decided to move in a new direction.

The Warped World

Someone once described me as “down-to-earth”. Someone else laughed. Am I worthy of such a tag? What is the definition of such a label?

I know I can be read like an open book, carrying my emotions and feelings on my sleeves. It is probably why I would make the worst actor, to get into my role would probably mean I have to go whole-heartedly into how I feel. Many see it as a sign of weakness, I don’t dispute the incessant – I just try to walk away with the positives. Well, what you see is what you get, no two holds barred about it.

I rose to great heights many years ago, exalted and all, thinking that success would continue, and I came tumbling back down to reality with the knowledge that you can only achieve something if you work hard at it. Had I emerged none the wiser, I would have been gravely disappointed.

I have a simplistic aim in life, to provide the best for my loved ones. There was a point of time when I looked upon money as the utmost to strive for, yet having plenty, I realized that there was more to life than just money.  The happiest moments of my life was not when my bank accounts reached its peak, it was when my loved ones were happy. Even if it means giving up the game console you have been coveting for years to get an item you don’t even own suits me fine, because at the end of the day you are happy knowing that you made someone smile.

Crushing is an understatement when you can get labeled as a spendthrift. The crime I bear would be an ebullient urge to splurge on my loved ones, similar to the effervescent craving for Chicken Rice. My only saving grace in my defence is that I can be such a scrooge on myself, just ask my trusty Phillips monitor, or the game console that no one seems to get me for my birthday.

Believe it or not, my childhood ambition was to have my own business conglomerate, own big mansions and the mix, lofty ambitions that my imaginative mind would think of, thinking why doesn’t someone sell every item imaginable in a megastore? Damn, Wal-Mart beat me to it. Have my ambitions and entrepreneurial endeavour gone out of the window? I would say nay, but just that I have taken a more realistic perception of the World at large.

The warped thing about the World we live in is that reality is the order of the day. Money might not buy you happiness, but the reality of the World we live in is that money counts. With the minimal exposure I have to the World, I know that despisal exists based on the mere digits in your bank account. Ugly as it seems, but the undeniable fact is that humans look down on one another. We are judgemental beings, and I won’t deny that I have never been guilty of that. What irks me is how many can descry the many that have less zeros, when the eventual character is worth so much less.

Of course it is not all without hope and despair, whereby you see those that act with distinct humility despite the abundant prosperity they have. Even the lesser can display hearts of warmth and graciousness, so it might not be the end of the World after all. You can only hope to come across more such beings than the former.

You realize that some people respect achievement, some respect money. Many show a sign of respect for the wads of cash, but I have utmost respect for those that have worked hard to achieve what they have, starting with zero. It is always easier when you have a head start. They said God made all equal, and my belief has always been that you win some, you lose some. Some might be luckier than others, others born with a golden spoon to be wealthier, but eventually it all pans out. Nonetheless, there are some who get stuck in a rut, while others have it good all the way.

I am proud to say that I funded my own University education by my own financial means. Even if that would mean I take a step back having to start from scratch again compared to others as a result, at least I stand fulfilled knowing I had worked my way through based on my ability. I would never discredit my parents of course, I would be nothing without them and their unending support and love. It always leaves me feeling for the worse whenever I think of it as such, that it is down to an inability to fulfill my potential that both my parents are still working instead of enjoying life. It hurts knowing that you cannot give back more than what they have given you.

I will move on to fully concentrate on my job, and work on other avenues, such as YieldMoney.com. I have dallied long enough on the various distractions to know that to reach my goal, I have to work many times harder and smarter.

End Note

As an end note, I hope most that have read my blog have enjoyed it, at least I know one who did. I don’t live by New Year resolutions, but I know from this point on, I just want to concentrate on providing the best for my loved ones. I am gratified that when I’m down, many people still care for me. Fact of the matter is, my family will always be my priority, to the day I breathe my last.

I really appreciate all the care and concern everyone has been showing me. From finding time out from your busy schedule to ask me out, to listening ears. I truly am gratified there are so many people who are concerned about me.

I will be fine, eventually it would be all good again, it could take a few zillion sleepless nights and heart wrenching moments, but I will live on, as I always have.

In the mean time please do not bother asking what happened, for at the moment I do not wish to say anything and am only intend to bringing it to my grave. In someone’s words, I rather keep everything bottled up at this point of time. There is no point speculating on whether isit love diminished, or such. If it was, it would have made it a whole lot easier.

You shrugged it off.

You pretended you never cared.

You buried yourself deep in work.

You know your facade can never hold up.

You stopped and stared at the memories.

You know you never had a second chance to prove otherwise.

You continue writing 100 days of Eden.

The world could fall apart
But you’re my heart, my dear
I will sing this song
‘Til we are gone, my dear

How do I keep you from losing your way
Hope you’ll go out and you’ll come back some day
But love is letting go
And this I’ll know

Cause you were mine
For a time

I could shape your mind
But why waste time, my dear
There’s so much more to know
And I can show you dear

How do I keep you from losing your way

Hope you’ll go out and you’ll come back some day
But love is letting go
And this I’ll know

Cause you were mine
For a time

I have held you close
And breathed your name, my dear
I was with you then
And will remain, my dear

How do I keep you from losing your way
Hope you will find love like I did some day
But love is letting go
And this I’ll know

Cause you were mine
For a time

There are so many things I want to ask, and yet I know I shouldn’t be intruding.

There are so many things I want to post, and yet I know she will read it.

There are times when I think I will stop.

Stop thinking how is she doing, stop wondering when will her next exams be, stop thinking whether she had her dinner in the flurry of studying.

In the meantime, I only know there are countless questions in my mind.