Lionel Messi is simply in the form of his life, destroying teams week after week, well make that every few days. Just days after tearing Stuttgart to shreds and putting the ball pass the peeing lemon, he ensured the Spanish press had ran out of superlatives they had to invite their readers to send in their own adjectives.

Watch what he did against Zaragoza over the weekend and you will be encoring bloody hell!

“I’m not sure he’s human,” said the Zaragoza playmaker Ander Herrera after the demolition.

“Tonight, I saw Diego Maradona,” declared the Real Zaragoza coach José Aurelio Gay, “but at more Revs Per Minute. There are no words left to describe him – he is interplanetary. We could have beaten Barcelona but we could never have beaten Leo Messi. If we had scored four, he would have scored 12.”

Interplanetary? Is that even a word or simply something lost in translation? Nonetheless, just take a look at this goal he scored 4 years ago when he was just 18. Which just about makes him 22 now. Astounding.

However, never discount our peeing lemon – Jens Lehmann, still at a mature 40.

“Somebody like me would be perfect for the World Cup.”

“In the beginning, Roman, perhaps, thought it was easy to win. He now knows it’s not.”

After yesterday’s win over Chelsea, you would expect Inter manager José Mourinho aka His Mourinhity aka The Special One to provide more words of wisdom. True enough, His Mourinhity showed why he is not far behind Eric Cantona, with more quotes to match.

“Yesterday someone asked me if I would still be special if I lost here,” he said. “But today I’m not so special for Chelsea supporters who will probably never forgive me. It was difficult coming to my home as an enemy, but that is what happened. I exchanged SMS messages with John Terry yesterday [and] told him one of us would be sad today. That’s life.”

“Roman is a very intelligent person and because of that he’s not the same person that he was when he arrived in football. Probably he thought it would be easy when he first arrived in football. It’s not easy. It’s difficult. Teams win on small details which make the difference. He knows it’s not easy now. He knows now how to read a game, understand a game, analyse the game and knows his team lost against a side who deserved to win. He’s a man of class, so he will accept this defeat because he knows Inter were the best team.”

“This [Chelsea] is a team that lost a semi-final with a goal that was not a goal [in 2005], lost a semi-final on penalties [2007], lost a final on penalties [2008], lost a semi-final in a game that they should have won 3-0 with three penalties that were not given [last year],” said Mourinho. “This is the story of this club and the story of these players. This is their history – one of frustration.”

“They had the ambition to go through and they were frustrated because, immediately, they felt that Inter were the best team. I’m not saying Inter are better than them. I’m saying that, today, Inter were much better than Chelsea, from the first minute to the last minute, and that brought frustration to their players, great professionals and great people. My people will always be my people. But today I was the enemy. And the enemy won. That’s life.“

Evidently, despite being an Inter manager, Mourinho is clear about where his heart belongs.

“I’m very happy because I won. I’m not very happy because they lost. I’m very happy because my players are happy, my supporters are happy, my president is happy, and because I worked so much for this game. As a professional, that’s the best feeling you can have. I’m not happy because my ex-players or Roman lost, or that Chelsea supporters go home sad. I’m not happy about their unhappiness. But that’s life.“

Being a pundit on Match Of The Day 2 (in England), he was discussing about Paul Scholes, who had just scored the match winner against Wolves.

Savage reminded viewers that he “was lucky enough to play with him in the Manchester United youth team, but there the similarities end unfortunately.”

Why oh, why then did he not make it?

“He’s an unassuming character who’s won a lot of trophies,” explained Robbie. “While I talk a lot of nonsense and haven’t won a thing.”

He should be invited onto the Football Channel this instant and replace Carlton Palmer. Oh wait, they won’t be around next season, thank God!

— 10 March Update —
Robbie Savage played goalkeeper after Derby’s two goalkeepers were either injured or sent off.

Savage donned the gloves to face a penalty that was sent over the bar and insisted: “I’d have saved the penalty because I was diving the same way. You can call me Robbie Southall – I’m just a natural sportsman.”

Derby boss Nigel Clough said: “Robbie wasn’t getting a kick in midfield so it was best he went in goal.

“He had a sore foot so he got a breather in goal before we play Doncaster on Saturday. We will have a new loan keeper by then.”

He said: “I remember what happened clearly.”

“I had an operation last weekend and, while it will take time for my leg to heal, I am determined and focused on overcoming this injury and hope to be back fitter and stronger than before.”

**Warning gruesome image ahead**

Gruesome sight for Aaron Ramsey as Glenn Whelan consoles him

Ramsey was grateful as well for Stoke City’s midfielder Glenn Whelan for trying to help him on the pitch last week.

The young Welshman, who faces a lengthy lay-off, added: “I have been overwhelmed by the terrific support I have received from so many people, including fans from many different football clubs.

“I know we are capable of winning a trophy and I will be backing them all the way.”

Bridge pointedly refusing to shake Terry’s hand before the match but definitely enjoyed his afternoon as Manchester City shocked the Premier League leaders with a 4-2 win.

He did get booed by the Chelsea fans early on, and John Terry got a loud cheer, which is without a doubt disappointing – are Chelsea fans condoning what Terry had done? The boos subsequently eased off through the match and to their credit, some Chelsea fans did give Bridge an ovation when he was substituted late on.

Carlos Tevez, obviously on Team Bridge’s side (of which he displayed a t-shirt after scoring a goal recently) took the opportunity to square up to Terry, clearly more pissed off more with Terry’s off-field antics than his on-field pushing. Craig Bellamy was also on Bridge’s side, just notice how he clearly shows a disgusted look as he shakes Terry’s hand. He was also itching to get onto Terry the moment Tevez squared up to Terry.

Bellamy told Sky Sports after the match: “You guys (the media) make a lot more of it you know.”

“I know what JT is like and nothing surprises me about it, so I’m not going to comment on that. I think everybody in football knows what the guy is like, but that’s off the field.”

No milkshakes for anyone after the match then.

About John Terry
John George Terry (born 7 December 1980) is an English professional footballer. Terry plays in a centre back position and is the captain of Chelsea in the Premier League. Terry was also captain of the England national football team from August 2006 until February 2010.

Athletic Bilbao have barred a supporter who urinated on visiting Anderlecht fans during the Europa League match at San Mames on Thursday.

Bilbao said the fan had apologised unreservedly for his actions and that he had had his club membership suspended (which means he can continue peeing after the suspension?) pending the outcome of a disciplinary commission hearing.

Television cameras captured the supporter urinating from the upper stands at Thursday’s 1-1 draw. With over 20 cameras (and maybe more CCTVs) at each match nowadays, do fans really expect to get away with anything?

Now, I wonder how that would have looked on 3D?

Well, a fan’s action laid testament to how true that quote was as he queued for tickets to Southampton’s FA Cup fifth-round match against Portsmouth.

He was queuing outside Southampton’s stadium, St. Mary’s on Wednesday night when his expectant partner went into labour there and then (!)

Husband pulls out a mobile phone from his pocket and did what Shankly would have been proud of – he found someone to accompany his wife to the maternity ward.

No bets on the baby being called Mary then.

Ever since the Glazer family took over the club, they have ladled the club with their financial loans, taken out plenty of money and ultimately changed the ability of the club to compete in the transfer market.

A further £500million bond issue has made things worse, with new evidence uncovered by MUST member “Andersred” suggests they do have every intention to take up to £400 million in dividends.

Manchester United’s Supporters’ Trust has held meetings with influential club supporters interested in exploring the options for a change of ownership.

Make a stand and get the Glazers out – sign the petition (only British citizens); wear Green & Gold and finally join MUST (it’s free!)

Imagine Shrek Wayne Rooney chasing after you the ball forcing you to move back on your seat! Yes, it is happening as Sky Sports plan to showcase this in a couple of pubs across the United Kingdom.

3D broadcast needs two sets of cameras and a digital processor that combines images from these two cameras into a single frame. Success of this pilot broadcast will undoubtedly start a new trend in TV programming, especially sports (and footie for that matter).

TV makers, meanwhile, have been preparing for the advent of 3D. At this year’s Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas earlier this month, quite a few of them showed off brand-new 3D models. Rumours that a pair of 3D glasses costing over $100 would definitely make it unattractive though.