Think Virgin Mobile, and then wait, no other players? The fact is that Singapore’s market is not huge, and for many of the foreign companies to compete here, they have to be sustainable. Unfortunately, the monopoly means these companies would be already coming in on an uneven footing – which explains why no one even bothered to bid for the available license in a saturated mobile market.

Which brings us to the unfortunate consumers who besides already having limited options in the market, have to contend with that the situation will not change in the next 1, 5 or 10 years. It is also deplorable in the sense that if the companies conspire to dictate, we have little choice but to follow – clearly evident in the oil cartels who dictate our pump prices.

Note that this article was actually drafted way back in March (yes I know it’s been that long!), thus please excuse the relevancy of some of the context.

The World Cup Debacle

We are 3 months or so away from the World Cup and our best chance of watching a match is to stream it live, buy an antenna and try to tap on one of the Malaysian or Indonesian channels, or drive over to Johor Bahru. Or we could just migrate to Fiji, San Marino or even Andorra, who all have matches being shown live on free-to-air (which means they don’t even have to pay to watch!)

After protracted negotiations, a joint bid was accepted by FIFA’s Asian sales representative Football Media Services and rumours that a fee between SG$20-25 million was made to secure the rights. Of course, after such a long negotiation process, the most glorious tagline our telcos could come up with was “This One’s For You” or “We Made It A Hat-trick”, haven’t they heard of copywriters?

As for this one about being for YOU, I’m sure the 23,000++ fans on the Mass Boycott Starhub/Singtel Overpriced World Cup Package Facebook group would beg to differ, seeing the costs escalate from SG$15 to S$70 (360% increase) in 4 years in a period where the global economy has boomed and then crashed. I would not delve into all this in this post, but all I would conclude is that when you are trying to get subscribers with less than a month to go before the start of the World Cup, this is the last thing you should be saying to them:

“When you say $66 is high, let me just be clear that they pay about a dollar a game to watch in the comfort of their homes. I think it is reasonable. I think they can afford it. It is less than a cup of coffee“.

Fabulous Infrastructure

Channel 255 has remained distorted for the longest time ever despite changing my cable 259438593 times. Making it play normally requires feng shui placement of the cable & leaving my foot beside the cable. 255 must be too complex for the set top box since channel 175 and below has no such problems. (drafted before April 30)

A channel renumbering didn’t seem to do the trick. With all the numbers changing to 3 digits after April 30^th, and the channel going to 856 – number complexity is obviously not an issue for the hardware.

The red camp obviously can do better, once they figure out the definition of HIGH DEFINITION. Anyone who has watched the quality of the footie they are serving up will know what I’m talking about. Upgrading their modems to retain settings should also be imperative (which can be such a bugbear when you are switching between set-top boxes).

I was pretty surprised when the incumbent Premier League right holders would offer to “host” matches on their network the moment their rivals won the rights to subsequent 3 years. Only after my first call did I understand why there was even such an offer, majority of the island hadn’t even been wired to receive feeds.

After more than 6 attempts since on enquiring when my area would be wired up, I’ve met with the same response – “Your area will be wired up by 31^st July,” was the best they could garner. Somehow or rather, I feel I’m going to miss the curtain raiser to the season come August unless I head to a bar or someone’s house which is wired.

Customer Service

Being a customer for 14 years count for nothing when they decide the best time to cut your TV & Internet connection is when you are watching a footie match at 4am in the morning (which you specially woke up for) and there was no forewarning letter or such. Best part of all is that there was little or no disruption to the normal billing cycle for the decade or so. Getting cut again a couple of days later despite assurances to the contrary by their customer service just makes you want to switch, and I thought they were getting desperate at customer retention?

Of course, even when they offer free home lines for the first time in their history and expect a backlog of customer requests, you would expect them to at least get back to your request. I’m still waiting for a response over a year on (oh wait the promotion has already ended?)

In line with the advent of social media, they actually hired someone to manage the chatter on Twitter (the poor soul manning it might be handling multiple roles for all we know) but a look at the twitter feed highlights the number people airing their woes on Twitter. What then of the people who do not air their grievances anywhere else except to their Customer Service?

The Façade of Competitiveness

The fact that we make all the Premier League stars smirker by throwing in ridiculous bids when there is clearly no need to and no market big enough to sustain it.

The Independent called the bids jaw-dropping, and here’s why: Abu Dhabi Media Company paid £200m+ to the rights a region with nearly 400 million people (202m Middle East, 195m North Africa) and ours paid a reported  £200m for a population of barely 5 million.

Theirs is evidently a market of growth with numbers to reach out to, but in saturated Singapore – it is the consumers who would have to bear the brunt with price increases expected year on year when the telcos realize that they are no longer self sustaining.

At the end of it all, the shareholders & stakeholders are the ones paying out for this ineffectual attempt to outbid each other, and it is worth reminding that plenty of Singaporeans own shares in the telcos. You just have to grasp the fact that the majority shareholders in the telcos are the same parent company, and the losing stakeholders have always been the consumers. The question thereafter is – why do we consummately continue to show the World we have such a competitive market when we evidently do not have?

Inconsequentially, the only thing that distinguishes our telcos is not their price plans, the options we have available, but the colour of their logos. Since we are on the topic of rocking the boat, I would like to thank them for making our mundane lives in Singapore more exciting, you guys totally rock. Peace out.

Contrary to popular belief though, hospitals are not a conducive environment for one to rest. Granted, I was fortunate enough to have the luxury of a two-bedder since all the four-bedders were occupied. Nothing against the wonderful care of the nurses, it’s just that you are never able to get more than 3 straight hours of rest, be it the constant temperature and blood pressure checks, to the marauding Bangladeshi who threatens to walk out before his scope, and the renovations ongoing down the hallway.

PS. I would also like to add that nothing beats living just 5 minutes away form a hospital when you are constantly having the runs.

At the end of the day, nothing beats resting at home – entertainment included!

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There’s things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won’t all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know, it’s nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
But then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won’t all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who is misunderstood
But the heart of life is good, I know it’s good

Well, perhaps I’m clueless about the true value of how much one toilet can collect, but you would need to go through at least 250 pee-ers a day just to cover the cost of the guardian.

But then again, we are the country that brought you the World Toilet Organization (who in turn bring about the World Toilet Summits and World Toilet Expo & Forum), and purportedly fine people for failing to flush the toilet after use (that would be a lot of money for our government if that law actually exists), so we do take a lot of pride in our toilets. If you need further proof of the quality toilets you can use without paying 10 cents, just check out the top 10 toilets in Singapore.

It can only be Your Singapore (where we want to make money, even when you pee)

So am I excited that it opens today? Universal Studios Singapore in Resorts World Sentosa (RWS) officially opens to the public from March 18 (today!) at 8.28am.

Having been to Ocean Park, Movie World, Lotte World, Genting Theme Park (if it actually qualifies as one), I would have to say Universal Studios has been the most wondrous of them all (not that it being the most vivid or the hot gal I saw there has anything to do with it). If their WaterWorld show is anything close to what they have at Universal Studios Blvd., then I definitely would not miss it – though the thought of squeezing the throngs of crowds amidst our wonderful weather of potential rainstorms & heatwaves make me think twice. Can someone please hook me up with a ‘cut-queue’ magic ticket?

Since the USS (that is a terrible acronym to use because it would sound like a warship) is part of an Integrated Resort – actually Casino, we should all be placing some bets, like on when would the following happen:

• A ride malfunctions due to a technical, human fault, or some divine intervention
• How people would die of thirst for not being allowed to bring in water coolers larger than 8.5” wide x 6” high x 6” deep
• How riding the Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure made you all wet despite it not raining
• Complaints about height discrimination due to the adverse height restrictions they collate from the USA
• People realizing that Goldilocks does not serve bear stew with porridge
• Alcoholics complaining about the inability to get high in the USS
• Employees peeved that they can’t refund their tickets because the boss called for a last minute assignment
• Finally, on how Singaporeans would exclaim to LOVE the USS as our national park since Singaporeans LOVE to queue (just think some stupid character in pink!)

Can’t wait to hear all the user experiences, photos & videos once everyone plows through where the Sentosa Ferry Terminal once stood.

About Universal Studios Singapore
Universal Studios Singapore is a theme park located within Resorts World Sentosa on Sentosa Island, on the little red dot called Singapore. The park is 20 hectares (49 acres) in size, occupying the eastern part of the 49 hectares (120 acres) Resorts World Sentosa.

Universal Studios Singapore is divided into seven themed zones, which are all located around a large lake in the centre of the park. The seven themes are Hollywood, New York, Sci-Fi City, Ancient Egypt, The Lost World (Jurassic Park!), Far Far Away (Wayne Rooney! Shrek) and Madagascar. In total, it features 24 different rides and attractions.

Amongst some of the highlighted attractions include:

• Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure
• Shrek 4-D Adventure
• Battlestar Galactica: Humans vs. Cylons
• Madagascar: A Crate Adventure

How to buy your Universal Studios Singapore tickets
You can purchase them online at www.rwsentosa.com, via the Resorts World Sentosa Call Centre (+65 6577 8899), or on-site at a Universal Studios ticket booth.

However, if you have yet to purchase your tickets, tickets for 18 and 19 have already been sold out with RWS reporting limited tickets left for the coming weekend as well, pertinent to the coincidental (not!) opening during the school holidays.

RWS have forewarned that certain attractions may become temporarily unavailable during the preview phase, as Universal Studios Singapore continues its technical and creative adjustments. In the meantime, ticket prices will be partially rebated with S$15 worth of shopping and dining vouchers for use at the theme park.

Universal Studios Singapore Ticket Prices
Regular tickets cost $66 for a full-day adult ticket during off-peak days, and $72 for an adult day-pass during peak periods. I don’t know how much it costs for kids because I’m no longer eligible for a kids ticket.

For more news and rumours about Universal Studios Singapore, head over to Screamscape.

… and here is Megan Fox on Twitter:

Were you expecting this Megan Fox – the one that steamed the Transformers movies?

It is of course Twitter spam, which many spammers have exploited using Twitter’s open API.

“Hey Charlie, this is (pause) … Potato’s owner …”

Having known him for many years now, I don’t think he really knows my name (well probably more my parents’), except where I tell him my address, but who can ever forget a dog’s name like Potato? = )

Top 12 Winning TOTO Outlets in 2009
No. of Times Won (in brackets)

1. Singapore Pools Serangoon Central (4)
2. 7-Eleven 14 Jalan Leban Sembawang Hill Estates (4)
3. Tan Wee Fong Trading (3)
4. KIS Store (3)
5. 7-Eleven Yishun (2)
6. Singapore Pools Jurong West N4 (2)
7. Clifford Gift Shop (2)
8. Singapore Pools Hougang N1 (2)
9. Singapore Pools Main Branch Sales (2)
10. Singapore Pools Jurong West N5 (2)
11. Singapore Pools Pasir Ris N2 (2)
12. Singapore Pools Choa Chu Kang (2)

Being a devout carnivore, sushi has not always been my cup of tea (though seaweed still remains edible), and neither are tasting oddballs. However, I cannot resist meat, especially when you char-grill pork belly. The Buta (Pork Belly) Egglet Roll was a pause, half cooked Quail Egg was under the wall of weird, but then when you got a layer of pork belly to whack it down with, why should you care right?

Just pop the whole thing in your mouth, and then when the egg bursts with the yolk – what you get is an immense explosion that carries out the flavour of the pork. Shit, and I only get to have one piece!? (you have to order it early). Timing is crucial in this dish, the egg has to be semi-cooked to leave it firm on the outside and soft in the inside, with the outside layer of pork belly still grilled to a beautiful colour. Absolutely top notch. With other dishes like the Shiok Maki, Sashimi Moriwase (sashimi platter), Asparagus Buta Bata (Asparagus wrapped in Pork Belly), Koh Grill & Sushi Bar is undoubtedly a gem hidden in a food court.

Koh Grill & Sushi Bar is located at:
#04-21, 435 Orchard Road
Wisma Atria, Orchard
Singapore 238877
Tel: 6377 0070 Fax: 6377 0060
Mobile (Chef/Owner Patrick): 9180 3805
Operating Hours: Daily: 11.30am – 10.30pm