The ridicule of our supposedly first world country having pictures of our shopping belt flooded being screened around was no laughing matter either. The excuses was pathetic to say the least, clogged culverts? Floods caused by intense storms? Duh, any kid could tell you that. Suddenly, Thomson (where I’ve lived all my life) becomes a “hotspot” for flooding too. The definition should then be everywhere that flooding occurs is equivalent to a hotspot.

Common sense will tell you that the construction of the circle line, ION, etc has had an adverse effect. As we drill deeper underground, compacting the ground as we go along, making it harder for rainwater to seep through – ultimately it means the water cannot flow away as it had in the past. See, you don’t even need to be an engineer to understand the logic. Put that out to the people and perhaps the disgruntled citizens wouldn’t feel so dumb. Example in point is that even the construction works on the CTE widening is causing flooding.

Of course, kayak warrior RX Ang’s latest little adventure had me in stitches (He actually went kayaking). I can even envisage the kayak companies hiring him to be their poster boy – a kayak could very well save you in the next flash flood. Get yours today before the next wave comes! See more on his Facebook.

While ensuring our ministers and civil servants get paid the fees they deserve having sacrificed otherwise supposedly lucrative payoffs in the private sector, shouldn’t they be equally answerable? BP’s CEO Tony Hayward walked for the Gulf oil spill, and while our floods might not be of the same magnitude, it has been 5 or 6 or so flash floods and counting, but we see no heads rolling into the barrage?

Think Virgin Mobile, and then wait, no other players? The fact is that Singapore’s market is not huge, and for many of the foreign companies to compete here, they have to be sustainable. Unfortunately, the monopoly means these companies would be already coming in on an uneven footing – which explains why no one even bothered to bid for the available license in a saturated mobile market.

Which brings us to the unfortunate consumers who besides already having limited options in the market, have to contend with that the situation will not change in the next 1, 5 or 10 years. It is also deplorable in the sense that if the companies conspire to dictate, we have little choice but to follow – clearly evident in the oil cartels who dictate our pump prices.

Note that this article was actually drafted way back in March (yes I know it’s been that long!), thus please excuse the relevancy of some of the context.

The World Cup Debacle

We are 3 months or so away from the World Cup and our best chance of watching a match is to stream it live, buy an antenna and try to tap on one of the Malaysian or Indonesian channels, or drive over to Johor Bahru. Or we could just migrate to Fiji, San Marino or even Andorra, who all have matches being shown live on free-to-air (which means they don’t even have to pay to watch!)

After protracted negotiations, a joint bid was accepted by FIFA’s Asian sales representative Football Media Services and rumours that a fee between SG$20-25 million was made to secure the rights. Of course, after such a long negotiation process, the most glorious tagline our telcos could come up with was “This One’s For You” or “We Made It A Hat-trick”, haven’t they heard of copywriters?

As for this one about being for YOU, I’m sure the 23,000++ fans on the Mass Boycott Starhub/Singtel Overpriced World Cup Package Facebook group would beg to differ, seeing the costs escalate from SG$15 to S$70 (360% increase) in 4 years in a period where the global economy has boomed and then crashed. I would not delve into all this in this post, but all I would conclude is that when you are trying to get subscribers with less than a month to go before the start of the World Cup, this is the last thing you should be saying to them:

“When you say $66 is high, let me just be clear that they pay about a dollar a game to watch in the comfort of their homes. I think it is reasonable. I think they can afford it. It is less than a cup of coffee“.

Fabulous Infrastructure

Channel 255 has remained distorted for the longest time ever despite changing my cable 259438593 times. Making it play normally requires feng shui placement of the cable & leaving my foot beside the cable. 255 must be too complex for the set top box since channel 175 and below has no such problems. (drafted before April 30)

A channel renumbering didn’t seem to do the trick. With all the numbers changing to 3 digits after April 30^th, and the channel going to 856 – number complexity is obviously not an issue for the hardware.

The red camp obviously can do better, once they figure out the definition of HIGH DEFINITION. Anyone who has watched the quality of the footie they are serving up will know what I’m talking about. Upgrading their modems to retain settings should also be imperative (which can be such a bugbear when you are switching between set-top boxes).

I was pretty surprised when the incumbent Premier League right holders would offer to “host” matches on their network the moment their rivals won the rights to subsequent 3 years. Only after my first call did I understand why there was even such an offer, majority of the island hadn’t even been wired to receive feeds.

After more than 6 attempts since on enquiring when my area would be wired up, I’ve met with the same response – “Your area will be wired up by 31^st July,” was the best they could garner. Somehow or rather, I feel I’m going to miss the curtain raiser to the season come August unless I head to a bar or someone’s house which is wired.

Customer Service

Being a customer for 14 years count for nothing when they decide the best time to cut your TV & Internet connection is when you are watching a footie match at 4am in the morning (which you specially woke up for) and there was no forewarning letter or such. Best part of all is that there was little or no disruption to the normal billing cycle for the decade or so. Getting cut again a couple of days later despite assurances to the contrary by their customer service just makes you want to switch, and I thought they were getting desperate at customer retention?

Of course, even when they offer free home lines for the first time in their history and expect a backlog of customer requests, you would expect them to at least get back to your request. I’m still waiting for a response over a year on (oh wait the promotion has already ended?)

In line with the advent of social media, they actually hired someone to manage the chatter on Twitter (the poor soul manning it might be handling multiple roles for all we know) but a look at the twitter feed highlights the number people airing their woes on Twitter. What then of the people who do not air their grievances anywhere else except to their Customer Service?

The Façade of Competitiveness

The fact that we make all the Premier League stars smirker by throwing in ridiculous bids when there is clearly no need to and no market big enough to sustain it.

The Independent called the bids jaw-dropping, and here’s why: Abu Dhabi Media Company paid £200m+ to the rights a region with nearly 400 million people (202m Middle East, 195m North Africa) and ours paid a reported  £200m for a population of barely 5 million.

Theirs is evidently a market of growth with numbers to reach out to, but in saturated Singapore – it is the consumers who would have to bear the brunt with price increases expected year on year when the telcos realize that they are no longer self sustaining.

At the end of it all, the shareholders & stakeholders are the ones paying out for this ineffectual attempt to outbid each other, and it is worth reminding that plenty of Singaporeans own shares in the telcos. You just have to grasp the fact that the majority shareholders in the telcos are the same parent company, and the losing stakeholders have always been the consumers. The question thereafter is – why do we consummately continue to show the World we have such a competitive market when we evidently do not have?

Inconsequentially, the only thing that distinguishes our telcos is not their price plans, the options we have available, but the colour of their logos. Since we are on the topic of rocking the boat, I would like to thank them for making our mundane lives in Singapore more exciting, you guys totally rock. Peace out.

So am I excited that it opens today? Universal Studios Singapore in Resorts World Sentosa (RWS) officially opens to the public from March 18 (today!) at 8.28am.

Having been to Ocean Park, Movie World, Lotte World, Genting Theme Park (if it actually qualifies as one), I would have to say Universal Studios has been the most wondrous of them all (not that it being the most vivid or the hot gal I saw there has anything to do with it). If their WaterWorld show is anything close to what they have at Universal Studios Blvd., then I definitely would not miss it – though the thought of squeezing the throngs of crowds amidst our wonderful weather of potential rainstorms & heatwaves make me think twice. Can someone please hook me up with a ‘cut-queue’ magic ticket?

Since the USS (that is a terrible acronym to use because it would sound like a warship) is part of an Integrated Resort – actually Casino, we should all be placing some bets, like on when would the following happen:

• A ride malfunctions due to a technical, human fault, or some divine intervention
• How people would die of thirst for not being allowed to bring in water coolers larger than 8.5” wide x 6” high x 6” deep
• How riding the Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure made you all wet despite it not raining
• Complaints about height discrimination due to the adverse height restrictions they collate from the USA
• People realizing that Goldilocks does not serve bear stew with porridge
• Alcoholics complaining about the inability to get high in the USS
• Employees peeved that they can’t refund their tickets because the boss called for a last minute assignment
• Finally, on how Singaporeans would exclaim to LOVE the USS as our national park since Singaporeans LOVE to queue (just think some stupid character in pink!)

Can’t wait to hear all the user experiences, photos & videos once everyone plows through where the Sentosa Ferry Terminal once stood.

About Universal Studios Singapore
Universal Studios Singapore is a theme park located within Resorts World Sentosa on Sentosa Island, on the little red dot called Singapore. The park is 20 hectares (49 acres) in size, occupying the eastern part of the 49 hectares (120 acres) Resorts World Sentosa.

Universal Studios Singapore is divided into seven themed zones, which are all located around a large lake in the centre of the park. The seven themes are Hollywood, New York, Sci-Fi City, Ancient Egypt, The Lost World (Jurassic Park!), Far Far Away (Wayne Rooney! Shrek) and Madagascar. In total, it features 24 different rides and attractions.

Amongst some of the highlighted attractions include:

• Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure
• Shrek 4-D Adventure
• Battlestar Galactica: Humans vs. Cylons
• Madagascar: A Crate Adventure

How to buy your Universal Studios Singapore tickets
You can purchase them online at www.rwsentosa.com, via the Resorts World Sentosa Call Centre (+65 6577 8899), or on-site at a Universal Studios ticket booth.

However, if you have yet to purchase your tickets, tickets for 18 and 19 have already been sold out with RWS reporting limited tickets left for the coming weekend as well, pertinent to the coincidental (not!) opening during the school holidays.

RWS have forewarned that certain attractions may become temporarily unavailable during the preview phase, as Universal Studios Singapore continues its technical and creative adjustments. In the meantime, ticket prices will be partially rebated with S$15 worth of shopping and dining vouchers for use at the theme park.

Universal Studios Singapore Ticket Prices
Regular tickets cost $66 for a full-day adult ticket during off-peak days, and $72 for an adult day-pass during peak periods. I don’t know how much it costs for kids because I’m no longer eligible for a kids ticket.

For more news and rumours about Universal Studios Singapore, head over to Screamscape.

Just who or what do you slog for? For family, or for yourself?

I wish I could say its for the latter, but when you have a sense that you are slogging to fulfil an unnerving debt of gratitude, commitment & responsibility to the former and planning to form an imaginary one of your own – you just envy those that only slog for the latter.

To say that I’ve never been envious of peers who never really had to slog a single day of their life, or only require to slog for their own beneficial luxuries, would be a blatant lie.

So, why do I have had to work hours, days, and even nights on end when everyone else is enjoying life?

Perhaps I don’t love my life enough at the moment. A motivational being might well be the answer.

Ok, this post actually has nothing to do with green apples. Or how sour they can be.

Its actually on Singtel disrupting status quo by winning the rights to the EPL. Of course, they promised it would be status quo by offering the same prices, and even an early bird offer in which they gave you free viewing of this season’s Champions League (which they had outbid ESPN for prior) if you had signed up for next season’s EPL.

Upon calling Singtel like about a month ago:
“Unfortunately, your area currently does not have Mio TV enabled. It will be enabled by July 2010.”

No one has won the rights to the World Cup yet, but for convenience’s sake, I just wish Starhub gets it.

Watching footie on SopCast or TvAnts just isn’t the same.

I’ve had Starhub TV and sports in my house since 1997, broadband since 2000 (when they were still the Singapore Cable Vision aka SCV), and never have they ever bothered for an inconsequential ‘loyal’ customer. Therefore, when they finally realized they just lost over 50% of their television subscriber base to their rivals – they start panicking and start calling offering you the best deals as a compensation for your loyalty. Afraid it doesn’t work that way. Its too late trying to salvage spilt milk.

On a side note, both Singtel & Starhub’s majority shareholder is Temasek Holdings, so either way you know who is winning. It certainly isn’t the consumers.

I actually wrote a draft on this article many weeks before I donned green (read: army), so my understanding after coming out of news-less land is that Singtel & Starhub have submitted a joint bid, that has been rejected by FIFA. Which is not totally unexpected, another money grubbing association that is loaded to the brim, with cries of corruption and controversy. So, Starhub & Singtel expected it to come cheap since they were the only ones bidding? Nothing is free, as they always tell the consumers.

We happen to be just beside RHB Bank & directly opposite UOB.

On a regular day, this might be what happens.

Auntie walks in, looks around, tries to look for the counter or the queue (actually no queue since you technically don’t have to queue at RHB), then asks whether this is RHB.

Couple of minutes later, the phone rings.

Lady on the phone: “Hi, is this UOB Katong?”

I think I should propose for us to be renamed TyreBank soon.

Updated:
January 12, 2010: Lady calls up, looks for DBS.

For a better illustration on how people can actually mistake us for RHB Bank.

Days when you reflect how you are throwing in more hours of work, and yet you are earning less than what you did when you were EIGHTEEN years of age.

Then you wonder:

• What if I hadn’t dropped all that I accomplished to spend 2.33 years of my life protecting my nation against neighbours who live a sea across.
• What if I hadn’t spent 3/4 of 2008 semi-studying, semi-trying to enjoy the life I missed out on when I was 18.
• What if I hadn’t spent all that time watching 1000s of movies over the years.
• What if I hadn’t spent watching seasons of Lost, Prison Break, Heroes & some 19 seasons of Survivors.
• What if I hadn’t spent all that hours playing Facebook games like Mafia Wars, et al.
• What if I hadn’t spent all the minutes writing this post.
• What if I hadn’t bought a dog who snores louder than my Jack Savoretti song is playing (sorry this is totally irrelevant to the post but she is snoring away as I type this.)
• What if I hadn’t spent all the seconds thinking if I should use this photo as the face of the post.

What-ifs are endless. Time isn’t.

Lyrics of Wonder from Jack Savoretti bears no relation to my post, it just is a WONDER-ful song, and has the same title as my post.

Tell my stories to the ones I love
Hide my fears from those who don’t
I’ve been tryin’ to change my ways for days
You keep sayin’ that I won’t
Old songs on a late night
There’s just too much on my mind
My love is a true love, but my hearts as cold as ice

You like what you see when you’re looking at me
‘Cause you think that I do what I do for you.
Don’t you wonder why
The word that I breath is the word that I need
And the song that I sing don’t mean anything
Don’t you wonder why it’s always been this way

All our innocence is gone
If you like I’ll take the blame for all the things that you have done
My songs on a cold night, I can’t get you out my mind
Your love is a true love, but you’ll never on my side

You like what you see when you’re looking at me
‘Cause you think that I do what I do for you.
Don’t you wonder why
The word that I breath is the word that I need
‘And the songs that I sing don’t mean anything
Don’t you wonder why? why

Old songs on a late night, there’s just too much on my mind
My love, is a young love but I know we’ll get this right

Twitter
Thierry Henry is a hot trend on Twitter. As I search this on Twitter, there are probably about 100 tweets a minute on Henry. In Spanish, Korean, French, and every other language.

Wikipedia
Wikipedia is a democratic doyenne of world enlightenment and knowledge. An Open Source tool brought forth by the Internet that gives everyone the ability to update encyclopedia entries immediately. However, it is clear the effect of disgruntled Irish fans, with several pages at Wikipedia feeling the “Henry effect” – with a battle raging over the definition of cheating in sport. One paragraph began:

“The single biggest most obvious example of cheating in the history of soccer took place in Stade De France on November 18th 2009 during the Ireland versus France playoff for qualification to the 2010 World Cup”

Little wonder my University’s policy is that Wikipedia can never be used as a legitimate source for references.

Obviously a few Irish fans were too disgruntled and tampered with the Wiki page for Henry

Betting
Irish firm Boylesports have opened markets on all things Hand Henry.

Henry has many commercial interests, and sponsors Gillette have already publicly backed the star. Boylesports, however, are offering 18/1 that there is an Irish boycott of the shaving giants, or 16/1 that he is dropped by his other high-profile sponsor, Renault.

Here is the video of the handball in its full glory, in infinite repeat.

Of course, the conspiracy theorists would point to FIFA changing the seeding of the play-offs after it looked like the likes of Germany, France & Portugal wouldn’t be at the World Cup. Looking at highlights of the match, and the various comments pouring around, I wouldn’t be surprised if the referee had some guidance and advice.

Monsieur Henry has the final word though:

“The ball hit my hand, I will be honest. It was a handball, you can clearly see it. [Sébastien] Squillaci went to jump with two Irish players, I was behind him and the next thing I know the ball hit my hand.

“It was a handball, but I’m not the ref. I told [the referee] but he said to me the same: ‘You are not the ref.’”

Undoubtedly, judging by his goal celebration together with William Gallas, Henry never ever wanted to be classed as a sporting footballer along the likes of Robbie Fowler, Paolo Di Canio, and Costin Lazar.

In all curiousity, if Singapore got to their 1st ever World Cup final courtesy of a handball against arch-rivals Malaysia, what would the reaction be?

Myself (without a moment’s hesitation): “Noooo.”